Left foot. Right foot.
Jonathan Soud just died of leukemia last Saturday. I didn't know him, but I know his father who taught at my high school, and he had a huge impact on my social networks at home. Leukemia is usually treatable in children. My mom said she diagnosed him, and he was going to be fine.
Left foot. Right foot.
My friend had liver pains yesterday, couldn't move her neck at all.
Left foot. Right foot.
My other friend suddenly threw her back out in rehearsal today and had severe pain. "I'm fine! I'm fine" she said, crying, trying to stand up.
Left foot. Right foot.
My friend's mom has been in the hospital for two weeks and they don't know what's wrong with her.
Left foot. Right foot.
I'm tired. So damn tired.
I can't write Dylan's eulogy. I just can't. The words. I just. Don't know what to say. I have to. But I know it's not going to be what I want to say. If he were alive, I don't know what I'd say to him.
Left foot. Right foot.
Fuck these feet. When does the bullshit end?
All the above are terrible news. It's almost tempting to become numb to the constant feeling of loss, pain and injury here and there, front and center, left and right. A jaded effect as a result.
ReplyDeleteTake a day to just get away from everything, even if such a goal appears unrealistic in light of the responsibilities you have.
Thanks, Stephen.
ReplyDeleteLet somebody you trust and are close to know if you need some emotional and personal support.
ReplyDelete